It was just a push…
You were so sorry,
You said you’d never do it again,
But you couldn’t remember what you did.
It was just a cake, a bracelet, a gift.
You were just so stressed,
You said you wouldn’t have done it,
But I know you’d never hurt a pet.
It was just a threat.
You said I misunderstood,
You were only trying to get things sorted,
But you always step up in a crisis.
It was just because I couldn’t do it.
You said you wouldn’t, never again,
You said it’s not like you,
But I hadn’t shown you the attention you were due.
It was just a push.
You said I was nothing without you,
You asked what you had done wrong again,
But this time I didn’t have the energy to explain.
You said you’re not an abuser,
You know it isn’t you and you can change,
But I was making you do this,
I caused all this rage.
You said I must tell someone,
But if I tell, you’ll be no one.
Why can I not see how hurt you are?
You only spoke of your pain from taking it too far.
It was never just a misunderstanding,
It was not us butting heads.
It was the nervous feeling,
The feeling of unavoidable dread.
I loved you,
You loved me too.
But it wasn’t enough.
It was never just a push.